BIG BOX GUY
Plans
Pricing
Simple, transparent pricing. Every plan is free. Every plan is box. Choose the one that feels right. They all feel right. Warm, even.
Most popular
Pro
$0
per box, billed never
- Everything in Free
- Box of every shape
- Priority box
- Occasional Trout Box*
- Certificate at Box 100
Enterprise
$0
per box, custom terms
- Everything in Pro
- Big box. The big one. Two hands.
- Dedicated box manager
- SLA: satisfied, every time, or we go again
- Invoice (for $0.00)
* The Trout Box is not guaranteed. The Trout Box is rarely guaranteed. After 1,000 boxes without one, it is guaranteed. You've earned it.
Compare plans
| Feature | Free | Pro | Enterprise |
|---|---|---|---|
| Box | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ |
| Shapes | All | All | All, plus one we don't talk about |
| Sizes | Yes | Yes | Yes. Oh, yes. |
| Number of boxes | ∞ | ∞ | ∞ (negotiable) |
| Price | $0 | $0 | $0 |
| What's in the box | Joy | Joy | Joy (and a box) |
Frequently asked questions
- Can I pay you?
- No. Box is free. Love is free. Put your wallet away, it's not that kind of site.
- What's in the box?
- Joy. Warmth. A little moisture, sometimes. Also a box.
- Do you really love all boxes?
- Long, short, flat, round-ish, tight, roomy, slightly crushed. If it's a box, a guy loves it. He is on his way. He brought tape.
- Is there a limit?
- We have not found one. We have looked. All night. Several nights. Our hands are a little raw.
- Do you offer refunds?
- Yes. Return the box, and you will receive your $0 back in full, plus a handshake that lasts slightly too long.
- Can I cancel?
- You can pull out at any time. Nobody has.
- Is the Trout Box real?
- The Trout Box is real. There is a trout in it. It is wet, it smells like the sea, and a guy still loves it. Do not make it weird. It's already weird.